This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There r osticjed everywhere
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
