You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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