the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
