Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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