I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
