I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
