He is such a slut. More and more my type.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She's the barista slut.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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