dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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