Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
