I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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