I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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