Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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