I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
