found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if only i could text you this smell
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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