I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
