I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Enjoy the penises
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
