Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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