I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
