Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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