I hate your face
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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