Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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