I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
