i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
