Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
