I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
