How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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