i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
