He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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