now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Enjoy the penises
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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