I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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