Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
