"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
