Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
