She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
