like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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