Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
