I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
