I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i now understand why vodka
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
