U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
