Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
