You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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