he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
