In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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