That's intense
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
