you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
