need another drink. this is the easiest way
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
