is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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