Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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