is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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