Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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